The Obstacle is the Way - Ryan Holiday
The Ancient Art of Turning Adversity to Advantage
Marcus Aurelius, last of the “five good emperors”, frequently sat down to write. Not for an audience, but for himself. He thrived not in spite of all the obstacles he had to overcome, but because of them.
[q] “Our actions may be impeded […] but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purpose the obstacle for our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stand in the way becomes the way”
- Marcus Aurelius
Introduction
Common reaction to adversity: Fear, frustration, confusion, helplessness, anger.
But what if it actually wasn’t so bad?
We blame others or our environment, but the only thing that really stands in our way is our attitude and approach.
[q] “Bad companies are destroyed by crisis. Good companies survive them. Great companies are improved by them.”
- Andy Grove (ex Intel CEO)
Goal is to first be less disturbed by obstacles, and then actually turn them into advantages.
[bq] “Not: This is not so bad. But: I can make this good!”
Much more than just positive thinking.
[q] “The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition”
- King in an old Zen story
Obstacles make you work harder, look for shortcuts or weak spots, find new allies, identify rules that could be bent.
[NFW: Compare with theory of learning and improvement only outside or at the edge of comfort zone in Peak]
[q] “The things which hurt, instruct.”
- Benjamin Franklin
Historically many obstacles used to be physical, now most are internal/mental.
[q] “Objective judgement, now at this very moment. Unselfish action, now at this very moment. Willing acceptance, now at this very moment, of all external events. That’s all you need.”
- Marcus Aurelius
Three critical steps:
Attitude/Approach to a problem
Energy/creativity to overcome it
Cultivation of inner will to handle/defeat difficulty
Perception, Action, Will
I. Perception
Need to train ourselves not to be subjective and reactive (and too emotional), but calm and imperturbable.
The Discipline of Perception
John D. Rockefeller started his career in 1855, just before the Great Depression starting in 1857. While everyone else panicked, he stayed calm and made a fortune. The greater the chaos, the calmer he would be.
[q] “Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful.”
- Warren Buffet
While others panicked and got angry, Rockefeller saw the crisis as an opportunity to learn.
[NFW: Being emotional is fine, reacting emotional is not.]
When faced with an obstacle we must try to:
Be objective
Control emotions
Choose to see the positive
Steady our nerves
Ignore what disturbs/limits others
Place things in perspective
Revert to the present moment
Focus on what we can control
Recognize Your Power
[q] “Choose not to be harmed - and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been.”
- Marcus Aurelius
We can never be forced to surrender our attitude, believes and choices. It’s in our control. You decide how circumstances affect you. No one else has that right or power.
In some situations (e.g. prison, see Nelson Mandela, Malcom X, Rubin Carter) we don’t have much power, but we are never powerless.
[q] “Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
- Shakespeare
We need to steady our nerves, react calm and with poise in the face of the unexpected.
Panic leads to mistakes and reactivity.
[NFW: Many think of stoicism as cold or emotionless, but that’s not true. A Stoic just recognizes that certain emotions won’t help and tries to focus on what’s in his/her control]
Familiarity helps with uncertainty and fear. Repeated exposure/training helps.
[NFW] Use resistance as a compass (War of Art / Linchpin). Do what feels most uncomfortable, that’s where the most growth is happening
Greek “apatheia”: calm equanimity, absence of any irrational/unhelpful emotions
Solve problems instead of reacting to them.
Big difference between observing and perceiving, objectivity and subjectivity.
When we give others advice we are much more objective than with ourselves. Should try to cultivate the same perspective.
Two “types” of perspective:
Context: Getting a large picture view, not just our immediate surrounding
Framing: How we look at the world and interpret events
[q] “In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control. Where will I find good and bad? In me, in my choices.”
- Epictetus
Things that are up to us: Our…
Emotions
Judgment
Creativity
Attitude
Perspective
Desires
Decisions
Determination
Should always live in the present, and not try to question what everything “means”. The why of things happening doesn’t really matter if we can’t influence it.
[bq] “Reality [is] falsely hemmed in by rules and compromises that people had been taught as children.”
[bq] “Our perceptions determine, to an incredibly large degree, what we are and are not capable of”
Example: Steve Jobs’ “reality distortion field”
[bq] "What if conventional wisdom is too conservative? It’s this all-too-common impulse to complain, defer, and then give up that holds us back.”
[q] “A good person dyes events with his own color […] and turns whatever happens to his own benefit.”
- Seneca
Many obstacles actually contain hidden opportunities or valuable lessons. The skill is to take any obstacle and flip it around, turning negatives into positives.
Problems are often precisely as bad as we think, because we naturally make them big.
[NFW] Mark Twain quote about great many troubles, most of which never happened.
The only thing that helps overcome an obstacle is action, but usually our first reaction is anger and self-pity instead.
II. Action
[bq] “Action is commonplace, right action is not. […] Action requires courage, not brashness.”
When faced with an obstacle we often choose to ignore it, to wait, to just claim we’re overwhelmed. But the only thing that will solve the issue is action.
In the face of adversity we need to cultivate energy, persistence, a deliberate process, resilience, pragmatism, strategic vision, craftiness, and an eye for opportunity.
[q] “We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.”
- Theodore Roosevelt
Get moving! Getting started is the most important part, even if the circumstances suck. The momentum will help correct that later.
People who take the initiative usually win, even if the conditions weren’t perfect or their actions not completely refined. They can course-correct before others even start.
Deliberation is valuable, but can also hinder crucial momentum.
Iteration is key! Do, fail, learn from failure, do again, repeat, until we get the desired outcome. The key is to not blindly iterate, but after each failure evaluate what went wrong and improve from there.
[bq] “Failure puts you in corners you have to think your way out of. It is a source of breakthroughs.”
[bq] “Like any good school, learning from failure isn’t free. The tuition is paid in discomfort or loss and having to start over.”
Want temporary, anticipated failure, NOT catastrophic and permanent failure.
Establish a process-oriented mindset. Instead of always thinking of the big goals, break them down and then simply focus and do what is needed right now, then move on to the next thing. Focus on doing each small thing well without the distraction of worrying about the whole. That will come automatically.
[NFW] Story on “the process mindset” James Pollard Espy meeting Henry Clay. Also coach Nick Saban
The process makes each goal smaller and more manageable.
Whatever we do matters, so we might as well do it as good as possible and with pride, even if it is a part of our job we don’t enjoy or only see as something temporary.
No matter what job we face, we should approach it with
Hard work
Honesty
Helping others as best as we can
[bq] “How you do anything is how you do everything.”
[q] “The cucumber is bitter? Then throw it out. There are brambles in the path? Then go around. That’s all you need to know”
- Marcus Aurelius
What’s right is what works! Sometimes we do it one way, sometimes another. Whichever way works is the correct one, not the one some arbitrary rules prescribe.
Ask for forgiveness, not permission!
[bq] “Pragmatism is not so much realism as flexibility.”
Spend too much time looking for perfect solution that we pass up on what’s right in front of us.
[bq] “Think progress, not perfection.”
Often helps attacking obstacles not head on, but from an unusual angle.
[bq] “Take a step back, then go around the problem.”
Experts are doing less work by solving a problem in a smart way, not hard way.
[bq] “Sometimes the longest way around is the shortest way home."
[bq] “Use action of others against themselves instead of acting yourself.”
Motto of the tennis player Arthur Ashe: “physically loose, mentally tight.”
Others obsess about rules, get angry at them, complain. We should just calmly take them, subtly subverting and undermining them to our advantage. “[Too often] we act out instead of act.”
[bq] “External factors influence the path, but not the direction: forward.”
[q] “The best men are not those who have waited for chances, but who have taken them; besieged chance, conquered the chance, and made chance the servitor.”
- E. H. Chapin
[bq] “Press forward precisely when everyone around you sees disaster.”
In times of crisis we can “act swiftly and unexpectedly to pull off a big victory.”
[q] “You never want serious crisis to go to waste. Things that we had postponed for too long, that were long term, are now immediate and must be dealt with. [A] crisis provides the opportunity for us to do things that could not be done before.”
- Rahm Emanuel (Obama’s adviser)
[q] “In the meantime, cling tooth and nail to the following rule: not to give in to adversity, not to trust prosperity, and always take full note of fortune’s habit of behaving just as she pleases.”
- Seneca
When nothing works, can still use this as an opportunity to learn to accept bad things and practice humility.
III. Will
[bq] “Will is our internal power, which can never be affected by the outside world. It is our final trump card.”
[bq] “True will is quiet, humility, resilience, and flexibility.”
Lincoln’s favorite saying: “This too shall pass.”
[NFW] Unbeknownst to most, Lincoln suffered from severe depression his entire life. This quote applies in almost all situations. Obviously in bad, but in good it’s a reminder to fully appreciate the moment and not take it for granted.
Will is different from action. Action can be restricted. Our will is within us and can never be restricted except by ourselves.
Many think they are born with their particular weaknesses and that’s it. But some few (e.g. sickly child Roosevelt) work to overcome and eliminate those weaknesses.
Physical exercise toughens the mind and vice versa. (“mens sana in corpore sano”, sound mind in a strong body)
Stoics call it “Inner Citadel” [NFW: Good title], the fortress within us that nothing from the outside can perturb. It’s not there from the beginning, we have to build it and reinforce it constantly.
Use a “premortem” to anticipate failure, e.g. in a given project and then run through what that would mean and how it could be fixed. Many things fail for preventable reasons, and often we also have no backup plans and get caught off guard by failure, because they never imagines their perfect plan could fail.
[q] “If you’re not humble, life will visit humbleness upon you.”
- Mike Tyson
Stoic term: premeditatio malorum (premeditation of evils)
Sometimes the only answer will be “It will suck but we’ll be okay”
[bq] “Prepared for failure, ready for success.”
Stoics: Art of Acquiescence: If something is outside of your control, there is no point worrying about it. Just accept it and move on.
This is not giving up! It’s focusing on things we can actually influence and not be distracted by useless anger or fear or trying to change the unchangeable.
[q] “My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it!”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Edisons reaction when a blaze was destroying his research facilities: To his son: “Go get your mother and call her friends. They’ll never see a fire like this one again.” Calms his son. “It’s all right, We’ve just got rid of a lot of rubbish.”
Perfect response. Weeping or being angry wouldn’t have accomplished anything.
Face even disaster with cheerfulness.
[NFW: From the outside laughing or being cheerful in the face of disaster might be seen as crazy, but if you think about it objectively, what better response could there be? Panic or anger won’t avoid the disaster. Cheerfulness is forward looking, preparing for action with a positive spirit.]
Beyond persistence, which concerns single problems, we also need perseverance! The long game.
[bq] “Persistance is an action. Perseverance is a matter of will. One is energy, The other, endurance."
Should think beyond ourselves. In a bad situation which we can’t improve, should at least ask how we can use it for the benefit of others.
Memento Mori! Forget how short and fragile our life is. But awareness of death can be incredible motivator and puts things into perspective. Helps not to obsess over trivialities and treat our time as a gift.
Death is most universal of obstacles. Can still use if for the good.
More accomplishments —> More obstacles. But our perception changes, and obstacles become easier, even enjoyable.
[bq] “Excited, cheerful, and eagerly anticipating the next round.”
Latin saying: Vires acquisit eundo. “We gather strength as we go."